i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
