Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize