So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
