Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
