90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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