we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
