He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
