I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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