someone threw a dead crab at me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
