I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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