I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
