we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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