last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
