We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just puked most of my soul out..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
