i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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