Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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