you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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