There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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