So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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