dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
