sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
