I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My life is pants optional.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
