11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize