Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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