My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
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