Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
