Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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