she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
