Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
