that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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