I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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