i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
