clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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