so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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