hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
