I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
