After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
