Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
