I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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