I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
