We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
