all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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