I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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