he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
