The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
