i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
