would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
