Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
