If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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