Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
