I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
