I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
