It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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