If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
