Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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