Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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