she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
