I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
