I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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