im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
