so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
