he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
