Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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