yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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