Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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