no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
