With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is wine microwaveable?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
