Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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