I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i believe in u and ur pee
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize