We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i think i have two assholes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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